New beginnings can often be scary. New beginnings when it seems like everything a round you is complete chaos and falling apart, these new beginnings are beyond scary. That is where I found myself recently. I started a new job because the inconsistency of my last one had left me and my family struggling financially to get by. This new job took me to Austin, TX for training, a couple hours away from my family and friends, placed me with a roommate that I didn’t know, and learning a whole new way of doing things. I was lost. I found myself in the quells of constant anxiety, turmoil, self-doubt, self-consciousness, and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. I knew there was so much potential with what this new job has to offer, but I felt like it was all slipping away way as I struggled to perform. My hands shook uncontrollably with every piercing I did, and the voices in my head constantly reminded me that I was a fake, an imposter. I knew that if I couldn’t get it together I would fail to secure my new position. So i began searching for help, and one night, I found it. I was scrolling through TikTok and came to a livestream of a lady I had never seen before. I almost scrolled away, but then, as she lit the candle, her cat climbed up behind her and stared at me. I kid you not, and I am fully aware that it sounds crazy, but I swear that cat locked eyes with me through my phone screen. I didn’t know why, but I felt compelled to stay. It was a very small live, I was just lucky to stumble upon it. I didn’t really really know what to think of the live she was doing. She was talking about spirit guides, the zodiac, and all this other metaphysical stuff, and I didn’t really know how to feel about it. I knew I was raised to believe that some of this stuff was evil and to never mess with it, but I was desperate. So I reached out in the comments and said that I feel like I’m on the cusp of something big, but I am struggling to find any success. When she read my comment she offered to do a tarot reading for me. Well, why not, I’m here right? She was using an animal deck and pulled the dog card for me. I found that interesting because I have had people in my life that I give off “dog energy” because I’m loyal and loving. As she read the excerpt from te card, I became more and more convinced that this was meant to be. I felt seen. I felt understood. I felt peace. The next day, I ran out to the nearest bookstore and bought my first Tarot deck. Over the following days I began practicing, watching videos, reading, practicing, reading, obsessing, and reading more. When I finally did my first reading on myself, I was inspired to be confident in the foundation that I have built. I was reminded that I can not only do the job I was training to do, but I could do it well because of my previous experience and that I just needed to stand on the skills that I already knew, and trust in myself. When I tell you that it was night and day different, It was night and day diffferent after that. My trainer even pulled me aside to ask me what had changed to make me seem so much more sure of myself? I knew at that moment that I had to share this with others. So why did I choose the name Chaotic Creations? I chose it because in this experience I have learned that with the tools we already have inside, and just a little guidance, we can create beauty from chaos. Thank you for joking me on this journey. I look forward to sharing with you all, and I hope that maybe you can find the same inspiration here as I have.